Posted in TV

Teen Wolf: “Orphaned”

Well, that title isn’t ominous. And the return of Krazy Kate! How we missed you. Though she apparently is unaware of who the benefactor is either, so that makes things more interesting. Personally, I think the benefactor has to be Gerard. It has to be someone we know, or else there would be no point in keeping his identity a big secret. I initially thought it might have been Kira’s mother, Noshiko, but then her name appeared on the list, so nah. But it would explain them wanting to get out of town. Still, if it’s Gerard, then you’d think he would have reached out to his daughter.

But back to discussing Kira! While I really want to like her, she’s really underdeveloped. Especially coming after a character like Allison, who was so vibrant and interesting. She and Scott had amazing chemistry, whenever they were together, no matter the context of the situation. With Scott and Kira, that energy just isn’t there. Unless the writers really want us to like her, writing scenes just to make us root for them, like the one down by the lake, there’s no energy between Scott and Kira.

Krazy Kate is scary, for sure, but not nearly as interesting a villain as Peter. He’s got precise evil on his side, she’s just sloppy and murderous. Together? I’m not going to lie, I have no idea where they’re taking this.

What is with the old NPR programing on the Hale family? Who could possibly have recorded that? These tapes are just another weird plot thing, like that insane thing with Lydia and the record player. The whole time I’m just like.

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Okay, so they’re orphans. How does Agent McCall know about that? How in the know is he?

Okay, new beta boy gets saved. And Peter is doing something weird. Never trust Peter, Derek. He might be one of your only family members still living, but he’s not even in the same county as trustworthy or the came country as reliable. The only constants in Peter are a lust for power, and a disregard for the lives of almost everyone else.

Scott finds a ton of money, and lies to Baby Scott about it. I thought he was turning over a new, more truthful leaf? And why would anyone keep that in a gym locker?

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Malia delightfully being herself, and someone is whispering her name. Okay, Derek. That’s a little creepy. Man, he is really losing his touch. I’m actually a bit worried for Derek. I’m almost never bothered about anything physical happening to Scott, he’s pretty much invulnerable, at least in theory, as an alpha, though he’s pretty emotionally vulnerable. Derek is losing his power, and he’s pretty damn messed up, considering the amount of emotional torture that has been inflicted on him over the years.

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And Liam’s captured. Great. Just what this episode needed.

Exactly how much does Deputy Parish know? I’m always suspicious of newcomers to Beacon Hills, but he’s kind of unnerving. Handsome, but unnerving.

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Oh, good. I hated that Garret kid. So cocky, and just generally irritating. Plus, I bet he’s killed a bunch of people, which, while typical in the Teen Wolf universe, isn’t very nice, especially for a young kid.

Liam climbing out of the well on his own? Initiative. Finally. Is that character development? Who knows, I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten what it looks like!

Oh, shit, Violet’s dead too. Too bad. I figured we were supposed to learn about these mysterious “orphans” through them. Oh well, they were both pretty annoying. Why did Scott and Chris not bring more ammo to this party? Also, why can’t Scott just sniff him out with his potent alpha powers? Liam’s fear has to be pretty smelly, plus he and Scott are bonded now. With like brotherhood wolf-type stuff. Great moment after Scott rescues Liam, I almost thought they would kiss. Lol. Love the trust building between them.

Okay, evil Peter makes a comeback. Creepy. Wondering if any of this is going to effect his relationship with his daughter? Maybe he should, IDK make a plan.

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Posted in Movies

On Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson has been in countless blockbuster films, is critically acclaimed and considered one of the sexiest women alive. She has a net worth of 55 million, and has her pick of roles in Hollywood. The only problem? Those roles are pretty scant.

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Aside from the occasional gem, most roles for attractive young women in movies aren’t great. And why is that? Because Hollywood doesn’t know how to write complex women. While this year has been groundbreaking in terms of movies with dynamic female leads, including hit fantasy adventure Malificent, there is still a lot of change that needs to happen.

Avenger Black Widow animated GIFJohansson is funny, charismatic and clever in interviews. She has become a fan favorite for her portrayal of Black Widow/Natasha Romanov in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and that is saying something. Marvel comics purists and comic book fans of all colors are always critical of casting, but Johansson nailed the role of the Avenger’s single female team member. Having appeared in Iron Man 2, The Avengers, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Johansson is a constant scene stealer. In Iron Man 2, her allegiance is the question, until she reveals herself to be on the side of the good guys, and a total bad ass. In The Avengers, her relationships are explored and she gets to work as part of a team, something that is outside of her comfort zone, as she is used to being the team. And, most recently, in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, where she bonds and works closely with the titular hero, Steve Rogers. Johansson really showcases her range in that film, as Romanov has to deal with the supposed loss of a father figure, and the destruction of her life’s work in protecting humanity and working with SHIELD. Fans anticipate her role in the next Avengers movie, expected in 2015, as well as a rumored Black Widow movie suspected to be in the works.

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While Scarlett Johansson has done very well for herself as Romanov, she still has appeared in films that do less for her. In recent film Lucy, Johansson plays a party girl turned drug mule who essentially becomes invincible. The film is highly flawed, and the central premise is just false, making the movie rather hard to swallow. Johansson does what she can with what she’s given- which isn’t much. Lucy is a prime example of the roles Johansson is given – flat female characters who serve as vehicles for plot, without having defining characteristics of their own. She plays love interests, girlfriends, the kind of roles that are available to beautiful young women. These roles are mostly set pieces, not characters, even. They aren’t complex women, real people- they’re entirely defined by their relationships to other characters, either men or children, or their employment. So stop bashing Scarlett, she’s doing all she can, and she’s fabulous.

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Posted in Miscellaneous

“The Thrilling Adventure Hour” A Star-Studded Adventure

While the Thrilling Adventure Hour podcast has been ongoing since March of 2005, they have only recently been posting their segments to iTunes and the Internet, and have quickly become quite popular. The podcast is initially recorded monthly, and then released online weekly as separate segments. These include Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars and the fan favorite, Beyond Belief. Typically, every show includes Sparks Nevada and Beyond Belief, and an additional segment, such as The Adventures of Captain Laserbeam, Amelia Earhart: Fearless Flyer, Desdemona Hughes, Diva Detective, or Jefferson Reid, Ace American. The format of the old-school radio show lends itself well to short stories featuring the recurring characters fans love.

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 11.27.25 AMWhile the show has not had a lot of press, many stars have lent their talent (and voices) to its stories. Some guest stars have included Amy Acker (Dollhouse, Much Ado About Nothing), Adam Baldwin (Firefly, Angel), Emily Blunt, Misha Collins, Jorge Garcia (Lost, Once Upon a Time), Karen Gillan (Doctor Who), Colin Hanks,  Neil Patrick Harris, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Aimee Mann and even the great Weird Al Yankovic. One of the best known frequent recurring guest stars is Nathan Fillion, who voices the titular Jefferson Reid in Jefferson Reid, Ace American,  as well as characters in Beyond Belief and Sparks Nevada. Fillion is a critically acclaimed actor for his role in Firefly, various other Joss Whedon productions, and Castle, on which he plays the titular character. Patton Oswalt is another frequent guest on the show, the comedian has played a few different characters on Beyond Belief, including a hard-boiled detective known as Pterodactyl Jones.

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 11.27.46 AMAside from a host of incredibly talented guest stars, the show regulars are simply delightful. The dashing Paul F. Tompkins and  lovely Paget Brewster play the hilarious duo of Frank and Sadie Doyle, Park Avenue residents who are just as comfortable with the affairs of high society and the nether realms. Brewster and Tompkins are simply hilarious as the married mediums, who solve paranormal mysteries, although they would prefer their own company and that of alcoholic beverages. Beyond Belief is by far the fan favorite segment of the show, though Sparks Nevada, covering the adventures of a space cowboy, is also a funny and interesting journey. His relationship with his martian companion, Croach the Tracker, is an ongoing joke by the writers, and they are not afraid to tackle the sexual tension. The show is breath of fresh air, and a great listen. Since podcasts have come back into vogue, hopefully The Thrilling Adventure Hour will become better known.

The Thrilling Adventure Hour does monthly shows, for tickets go to their website, thrillingadventurehour.com. A concert film is currently in post-production.

 

 


 

Posted in TV

Finding Carter: “Now You See Me”

I’m going to be so mad if Carter gets back with Hot Vintage Car Thief! Seems like he’ll be in this episode from the preview, though. I’m starting to like Gabe more, but his dad has gotten on my bad side. I’m also looking forward to this episode because it looks like we’ll be getting some more Lori, and her relationship with Carter is by far the most interesting on the show.

Why am I not surprised that Wallflower takes Latin? Bless her. “Gunsie knivesie.” Bless you too, Max. “You are surprisingly quotable.” “If you pick right, one’s enough.” Yes this ship must sail so hard. Every scene with these two is gold.

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Okay, in what world would anyone think that painting is flattering? Never do you paint your friend with half of her face falling off.

Max’s explanation of evolution is amazing, I just hope it won’t effect ratings on the Bible Belt.

Why is Bird doing this? Carter has proven herself to be a dramatic character who likes to make a scene, but she knows that. Why wouldn’t she try to be the level headed one? She seems the calm, collected artistic type. Carter has already shown that she doesn’t want people capitalizing on her recent fame. So this overall does not seem like a good move.

Man, does Carter never go to class? Also, their parents are police people, shouldn’t they keep their kids from practicing truancy? They’re only at school in the technical sense. Wow, he must really like her to spend all day yanking down fliers.

“Did the world stop revolving around you for a second?” Considering the way you’re treating her, spending hours putting up posters of her face, clearly not. Also, WTF is going on with Bird? While I kind of agree that Carter is a bit bratty, Bird is completely out of line.

While I appreciate the wisdom of Sassy Art Teacher, this task should be all Bird. She screwed up, let her clean up. This is just a ruse to make them do a boring chore and make up. “Don’t bitch at me, I was here all night putting them up.” Girl, you’re the bitch in this scenario. And then they just make up. This random thing had literally no effect on the overall plot, except to push Gabe and Carter together in an awkward stairwell kiss. I’m kind of lukewarm about them now- he seemed to be really into her, but that kiss was really weird. Carter is not good at making choices about intimacy. The only guy she’s kissed at a time when it wasn’t weird was Max in the pilot on the Ferris Wheel. And we’re all behind him and Taylor. So that’s done.

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There in nothing more conspicuous than wearing a hat and sunglasses. Isn’t she supposed to be good at disappearing? Well, at least she has a plan. Lori and Carter have a really unique mother-daughter relationship, unlike any other parent and child on the show. Lori has lied to Carter her entire life, and kept her from her biological parents and siblings, but she still loves and trusts her mother completely. I could totally see them having a season like Archer Vice where they have different identities or they’re on the run. That would actually be really great, I could see them using this first season to really ground Carter in her new life, then they run away over the season finale. Then the beginning of season two, assuming the show gets renewed, they’re on the run for five or six episodes before they get caught or Carter has a crisis of conscience. Then the rest of the season would be fallout. Alternatively, they could have a falling out because Carter gets used to her new old family, which would be less interesting, but at this point far more likely.

“Tasteful abandonment” no wonder their daughter is terrible – no attention at home, will seek it elsewhere. Though what bird did was idiotic, I like her again. Still, her actions seem a bit out of character and unnecessarily over-dramatic.

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He bought them a car! Poor David, trying to assuage the guilt of publishing. Although apparently they aren’t so secretly broke, huh? Guess that secret goes off the list. Or, I guess, it’s modified, because now Elizabeth knows about it, but no one else does. And the marital troubles continue! Fun with the Sassmouth gammie and pop pop. Naturally, they’re the same grandparents as in Gilmore Girls, they have to be mean to be rich.

The way he talks about her is not like an accountant- it’s like he’s the creative type and she’s the boys in corporate!

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Detective Gabe’s Dad says, “You can still talk to me.” Aaand they’re making out in the closet. Is that what talking looks like now? Man, Carter must be a great conversationalist. Every guy wants to talk to her. It really must be over with David, because they’re not even trying to hide. I’m totally betting he gets the check at the end of the episode and they stay together. She’s just buckling under money pressure and their completely dysfunctional family.

Elizabeth’s response to the spontaneous sleepover: “Looks like fun- not too much noise.” That, ladies and gents, is the attitude of a mom who either a) is on Xanex or b) just got laid. Carter and Taylor know something’s up. Their relationship is developing nicely. #Partnersincrime!

Oh, sexy cooking with Taylor and Max. Maxflower for the win! Good thing he improbably moved to town. Independent teenager fallacy!

Oh, poor Bird. So deep, so wounded. I knew there was a reason they had her acting so out of character. Since her parents neglect her so much, it makes sense that she was put in a position where she was abused. This actually makes everything make way more sense. Like, I don’t get why someone as blunt as Carter wouldn’t call her on her weird behavior earlier, but it all makes sense in retrospect.

And then it finishes with Carter having a momentary lapse in memory, and feeling terrible about it.

Next episode, seems like she’ll be talking to Cute Felon again, and trying to find Lori. Looks like Carter will be trying to get close to Elizabeth to find her, which should be funny. Also, looking forward to when Elizabeth decides to tell her husband that they’re splitting up.

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And the secrets so far!

Mom has had an affair with her partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but now it’s back on and she said that it’s over between her and her husband.

Carter is trying to get back with Lori, her “real” mom.

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Max is the only one who knows that Lori is still in town, getting ready to run away with Carter again.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

Posted in TV

Finding Carter: “The Drive”

Well, we’ve established our main characters, a few secrets and some minor subplots! Let’s watch episode three.

Ooh, cute blond guy in the police station. Thank God the FBI picked up Carter’s kidnapping, I swear the local police already made enough fools of themselves. Why on earth is Carter apologizing to the whole police force? Carter does not seem the kind of girl to apologize. Also, Carter, play nice to the cop lady, who happens to be your biological mother, who can further ruin your life. You have no credibility right now. YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. FOR DOING DRUGS. STOP TESTING HER LIMITS.

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Oh, Crash is good with words. Does anyone ever not manipulate this girl? Seriously, these kids are bad for Carter. She meets the local rich kids and it all goes downhill. And why was Wallflower friends with that guy she likes? She’s opposite of intense. He’s all buddy buddy with the local underage bookie (I just call him Eyebrows, I have no idea what his name is.) She’s probably on the Yearbook Committee.

Speaking of the Rich Kids, man does Carter inspire loyalty fast. They’re trying to help her find her fugitive mother. That’s loyalty.

Love the rapport between the parents “Not the surfer dude- the surfer dude?” Well, Denisof saves the day! Maybe there’s hope for this dreadful marriage after all. I mean, they do seem to be able to have a conversation about the future of their delinquent daughter without fighting.

Okay, teaching the preteen to roll a joint? I’m less than pleased with you, golden boy.

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Now that’s awkward. Carter really wants to drive these people away, huh? Making out with a guy in front of all of those people, at least half of which are related to her? They all know how weird it is. Man, Carter is just needlessly rebellious.

LOL, when Carter says her mother told her that her father was some “Beautiful Stranger.” Alexis Denisof is beautiful, you dummy.

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Carter seems to have no social skills. Like, thou shalt not discuss thy parents’ marriage with thy parents. Still, she and Daddy David seem to be doing pretty well.

Can we just talk about how adorable and lovable Max is? He’s just like a well-meaning, not too bright puppy. He’s way cuter with all of that hair out of the way, and Wallflower knows it. Get it girl! Your sister basically has every other eligible bachelor in town in the palm of her hand. And he is literally the sweetest person alive. Okay, I’m done. I ship it.

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“That’s not a real job!” He’s so adorable. From the first episode, I kinda thought Max would be kind of a dirt bag, but so far he’s the least douchey, most forward person on this show. Team Maxflower!

Oh, and Elizabeth has an evil plan! Poor Taylor. She seems so sweet, I hope she doesn’t have her heart broken twice in as many episodes. She’s dull, but she has a pretty face, and she certainly doesn’t dress as boringly as earlier. She means well, give her a break!

Papa Gabe, or The Guy Elizabeth is Cheating With has a heart to heart with his son. Also, he looks about thirty years old. And don’t be stupid, telling him not to go out with her will make him want her more. We’ve already seen this with Crash. Don’t make the same parenting mistake twice in one episode! Besides, he probably only wants to keep them apart to make it less awkward when they become step-siblings. That’s gonna be a fun time.

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Wow, Elizabeth really knows how to act. She is a bit evil, isn’t she? Forcing Max our of the house during dinner? Cold. She takes another turn at the Let’s Manipulate Carter table. Who tries to coerce their teenage daughter to sleep with another teenager? Creepy.
Also, love the cute bathroom scene with Carter and Wallflower. Very sisterly. Where does Carter get off telling her sister that she likes every male person? “When it comes to boys, you win.” Well said, Wallflower! Impressive.

And Gabe is on the hook! Carter just friendzoned yet another guy. But she has so many on the hook at this point, I don’t know what to think.

Wow, Carter. I’m not sure that qualifies as a skirt. More a wide belt. But Cute Felon has a cool vintage car. Why the hell not? What’s the worst that could happen, in a car alone with a guy you barely know, who you know is unafraid of breaking the law, and has a record? Again, not a great show of judgement from Carter. Strike two!

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“Seems like there’s a lot of guys filling in that application.” Cute scene with Max and little Bro. Also shows that Max is actually completely self-aware. Okay, he’s actually perfect. Max is adorable.

Oh, he stole the car. Damn. Crash! Why you gotta lie to a sister? Yeah Carter, admit you were wrong. Work on being more responsible while you’re at it.

Oh, cute scene with Daddy David. New secret! And just when they’re having a nice hug, Lori drives by. Gasp! Fin.

This episode did a great job developing David’s character better, and making the audience a little more sympathetic to Elizabeth, but it further explored the flaws in Carter’s characterization. While her sister Taylor is the girl next door, she’s the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. She’s a rebel, and has a dark past, a pretty face and nice legs. And that’s pretty much it. Add a little sarcasm, and mix. What are her passions? What does she do for fun, aside from underage drinking and making her parents miserable? What did she even talk about before she became a news story?

I’ve decided to keep a tally of big secrets that make it through each episode, since Carter claims everyone is lying to her, and they pretty much are. Basically, only stuff people are intentionally keeping from each other out of malice or to save themselves from consequences. So, Taylor crushing on Max doesn’t count.

Mom has had an affair with her partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but the preview for the next episode makes it seem like they might get back together.

Carter is trying to get back with Lori, her “real” mom. (This isn’t really a secret, but I felt it qualified.)

Dad is the only one who knows that they are in foreclosure.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t. Though he does appear to regret agreeing to write it, so there’s that.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Posted in TV

Teen Wolf: “i.e.d.”

Firstly, where do all of these supernaturals just come from for them to kill? I get the whole “Beacon” Hills thing, but is it like a magic glowing neon arrow pointing to Beacon Hills? Doesn’t anyone else know what’s going on?

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Ooh, pretty blonde is a werewolf. How many ladies did Peter dabble with in this town? Eh, probably she’s related to that beer delivery dude. Aw, and she’s dead. I kind of liked her. What’s with the cryptic whispers though?

Ooh, I like bossy Scott. “I’ve got a beta” So close to the reality, that Scott is a mom now. Good for him. Baby Scott kind of feels like an Isaac replacement. I’d kind of like him and Scott to get buddy buddy, considering Liam so far is defined by being a punk ass bitch and having anger issues.

Coach is adorable. We’re disturbed too, man. For real, we know Stiles’ free time is limited, but bringing crime scene photos to school seems like a bad idea all around. Seriously, get this boy some more therapy.

What do I love more than Papa Argent and Derek working together? Very little. But I don’t buy Papa Argent turning to the dark side. While he has lost a lot, his Father, Wife, Sister and Daughter, in quick succession, he seems pretty sane. He and Scott have had a few good scenes together since his return last episode, and I don’t think he would turn so quickly on him in favor of a murderous Latina woman from a different family of hunters, who is so clearly using him. We’ve already seen the Calaveras do some pretty terrible things, they seem to be more in the Original Kate state of mind, kind of bloodthirsty and more than a little ruthless. Before she was turned, and before he was diagnosed as terminal, Grandpapy Argent and Kate were both on the same page as Victoria, basically that werewolves were the devil’s handmaidens. Only difference between Gerard and Kate, and Victoria, is that when Victoria was bitten, she held on to her beliefs, sacrificing her life to protect her loved ones. While I really hated Victoria, since she was pretty damn immoral, Gerard and Kate are worse than she was. They change their beliefs based on self preservation, and show no regard for the safety of others who they claim to care about. Thinking on it, I would believe Chris turning on our heroes if there had been a scene with Peter earlier, but Chris seems weirdly okay. Not that character development has ever been consistent in this show. So we’ll see.

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More on character development! These last few episodes have been crazy plot heavy, which has made them a bit clunky. While I like the way things have been moving, the plot has been escalating at the expense of character development, which has already been weak as of late. With the exception of Malia, these first few episodes of season four have been relatively disappointing. Scott has been doing pretty well, with his new control of his power and his attempt at controlling his life (remenicent of the beginning of season 3), but I’m less and less happy about his relationship with Kira. With what happened to Allison, Scott’s first love, one would think his feelings for another girl would fall by the wayside as he tries to deal with his shit. Scott has a lot of baggage, and he has no business trying to get with Kira right now. While I was initially on board with Scira, this episode made up my mind for me. While there was a scene specifically meant to endear Scira to viewers in the last episode, down at the lake, this episode just has them acting as teammates. It’s undeniable that the chemistry just isn’t there for Kira and Scott. Whenever Stiles and Malia are in the same room together, they have chemistry. Whenever Lydia and Stiles are in the same building, they have chemistry together. Without all of these dynamic and interesting relationships around them, Scira could be normal, even likable, but as it is they’re dull. Kira has yet to develop more personality traits, and Scott’s interest in her continues to be extolled. Lydia claims in an early episode that Scott is “totally into” Kira, and he may well like her, but she is clearly far more interested in him than he is in her.

While I still logistically find Malia and Stiles problematic, I can’t help but root for them, at least for now. They have such great chemistry, and Malia’s been developing so well. While she’s supposed to be technically eight years old mentally, she seems more practical than the others in some ways. Even in an episode like this one, with more plot than structure, she still shines. Shelley Hennig is amazing. One of the struggles of a show that runs more than three seasons is keeping original characters, and while Teen Wolf has a lot of character turnover, with deaths, it can be hard to integrate new characters successfully. Malia has had no such difficulty. While she may have some trouble fitting in with the others, she obviously belongs.

Random Thoughts

– Derek! No. You’re very attractive, but human would not be your best color. this could be interesting. I’m wondering what Krazy Kate did to him. The big mystery of the season is this benefactor, and I’m starting to think it has to be someone Kate really trusts.

– So if anger = strength, Peter must have it in spades. It also totally explains why Scott is less powerful, he’s too chill. Smoke less pot, Scotty!

– Gotta love the dance music in every lacrosse game sequence.

– And again where is my boy Danny? Are they just gonna replace him with the other gay guy? That’s not how it works, Jeff. Give us Danny or give us death! On second thought, he might actually take that seriously. Never mind that, but we miss Danny. Come on.

– Ooh, Deputy Parish is one of them! Actually seemed pretty likely from the beginning.

– Yeah bad ass Scott and bad ass Scott music. Finally using some of that Alpha power.

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Posted in TV

Teen Wolf: The Benefactor

Another week, more Teen Wolf! It’s actually sad how much I genuinely look forward to this show. But onwards!

This episode starts pretty lighthearted, and that goes south pretty quickly. Gotta love them season 1 throwbacks. Scott disappearing is so Derek-esque. It actually reflects pretty well the changes that have happened over the course of three seasons, Scott has come to terms with what he is, understands it to a certain degree, and can control it. Derek is pretty much in the same place he was before, still looking for answers, no longer an alpha. Now we have a new Scott! Hurrah! In fact, I’m calling Liam Baby Scott until he stops annoying me.

Oh, Lydia. What could possibly go wrong with this plan? Kira is a vixen? She has no self-confidence, but I still don’t buy her falling down those stairs. She’s a freaking Kitsune! We must return to Stiles as the standard for physical comedy.

Speaking of Stiles, Papa Stilinski now thinks his son is into bondage, sweet. Papa Stilinski is probably just marveling at the fact that his son has managed to interest a hot young woman who is apparently willing. Wait, does the Sheriff know about Malia? Probably, he did do that whole investigation thing.

Peter Hale with a blowtorch – I ship it. Derek and Peter have great scenes together, I really can’t wait to see what’s going on in Peter’s mind.

Oh great, Baby Scott has issues. Maybe daddy issues like most of the characters? Seriously, aside from Stiles and Kira, pretty much all of the characters have been abandoned by their fathers. Lydia’s parents divorced, and her dad left, Scott’s dad left them, Alison and her dad didn’t see eye to eye for a long time, and Malia’s dad isn’t really her dad, Peter is. Maybe another part of the Beacon Hills magic is that it makes people leave?

Derek has had issues, maybe he can help with Baby Scott, they’re kind of related. If you think of lycanthropy as a family tree, Peter becomes Scott’s dad, Liam becomes Scott’s son, and Derek becomes Scott’s cousin. Admittedly, much older and hotter, with infinitely better arms. Derek talked about how he managed to control his transformation by controlling his anger, and that seems to be Baby Scott’s problem too.

Oh, a party might actually disguise all of the noise. But seriously, getting a bunch of drunk innocents in the area right as a wolf is coming out for the first time, not good judgement. Shame, Stiles, we expect better of you.

Okay, Scott is an alpha, he should easily overpower Liam on his own. This episode is a logistical nightmare. Seriously. I mean, Scott isn’t a huge guy, but with all of that Alpha power, he could at least use some of it to protect Liam from himself.

Why does keg delivery guy have to be a werewolf? This is so freaking weird. Oh, the freshmen are in on the whole assassin thing. They grow ’em young these days, huh? This town really does draw the weird ones.

Seriously, does anyone have attentive parents in this town? Also, does Lydia not have any more popular friends? Surely there are other popular seniors at BHHS?

Why don’t they just rent a freaking underground bunker once a month? Honestly, if there are than many supernaturals in Beacon Hills, they should really have it as a public service.

Scott is supposed to be total control guy, but they haven’t said anything about him being low on power because of it. Since as an alpha he has more power in his little finger than a beta in their whole body, WTF? Forreal, what’s up with basic bitch Liam?

AND PAPA ARGENT IS BACK! HALLIFRIKCING LUJAH!

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I GOT YOUR TEXT, this man could not be more perfect.

How much do I love Derek and Sheriff pairing up? So much. Is he actually about to arrest the Mouthless Wonder? Oh, never mind. He dead. He got Peter’d.

Derek Hale Peter Hale animated GIF 

Okay, nice Scott. Go with the fatherly advice and help the lost kid. Seriously, Argent is on point. It actually goes to show how much Argent has developed as a character, because he knows Scott well enough to understand that he would rely on the wisdom of others when he should really be looking inside of himself. But listening to Scott try to be Derek for the last half an hour has been awesome. But there really is only one Derek Hale.

                        Derek Hale Scott Mcall animated GIF 

Okay, that stain has totally set in the carpet. Her mother is going to kill her. But not before the end of the episode. For real, how does this very red record player just happen to have the answer to this code that Lydia just magically writes? Do we ever get any answers in this show? Nope.

Only 6 for Kira? She’s a bad ass, you’d figure she’d fetch a better price. In fact, the whole wolf pack is pretty low compared to 250 thou each for the Wendigo family. Also, why are Kira’s mom, Peter Hale, and Malia not on the list? All of them have proven to be extremely deadly at different times. They stole from Peter, so they clearly know about him. I can’t wait to see the repercussions of him killing the Mouthless Wonder. It’s actually really logical that someone would pay a bunch of assassins to eliminate the supernatural population of beacon hills. I mean, they’re really starting to draw attention.