Posted in TV

Finding Carter: “Half Baked”

This episode probably picks up the day after Carter’s big choice- because it was a choice. It could be argued that she gave the key and the phone to her dad because she couldn’t make the choice, but in giving it to him, she chose her blood kin. She severed all ties to her mother, and gave David the opportunity to incarcerate Lori, if he and Elizabeth had chosen to. To be fair to Carter, she did chose that course of action at the end of an emotionally exhausting day, having spent months being exposed only to people who really hated Lori (with good reason). So, I’m curious to see the emotional fallout in this episode, especially given what we saw in the preview.

So the episode opens on a meeting with Lori that David set up for Carter. This already feels suspect. Lori doesn’t show, and David’s speech to his daughter sounds way too rehearsed. How would he have even contacted Lori after he hung up? She said the phone was only good for one call. I’m guessing that David made up the whole meeting thing to get Carter to move on.

Fashion side note: Okay, I’ve been lenient before about making exposed bra straps a thing again, but I count one racer back lace bra, a magenta camisole and a black camisole. Seriously, Carter. You barely need a bra to begin with, let alone two. I’m going to start counting the bra straps I see in every episode, with each set of straps counting as one and including the ones in the intro song.

“I hate you!” Wow, Grant. Harsh. But he’s just a kid, not even a teenager yet. No matter how independent he’s had to be, he isn’t able to handle this. But seriously, what kind of mother lets her son talk to her like that? Also, David being nice. That totally means he’s up to something.

Max watering plants, because he’s perfect and loves the earth. Also, his diatribe on the carbon cycle is amazing. And wow, everyone knows about mommy’s dirty little secret in pretty quick succession. gotta say, so far, my favorite reaction is Carter’s. Though Grant’s little comment about the doughnuts is adorable. And mom’s been having said affair for three years! Hot damn. And Gabe’s mom was dying of cancer. Well, that explains where she is, and his issues with attachment to women. Also, wow. That must have been a sucky adolesence. I can’t see this confrontation ending well, although I also didn’t think it would escalate this quickly. Supportive Max is supportive.

Also, they both look crazy uncomfortable. Like, they said, let’s cross our arms. Oh, never mind, we shouldn’t. Oh damn, they’re here, cross your arms. Wow, more brand names. Adidas must have given them way less money than Macy’s. Also, the girls keep their arms crossed.

Lol, “Carter did most of the talking, and she’s really good at that.” XD Taylor knows what’s up. I love that Taylor speaks her mind and doesn’t hold back on telling her mother how she feels, because she seems like she tries to spare other people’s feelings a lot, and she’s been way bolder lately. “I’m so not used to this family drama.” Girl where you been the last few months?

Why does Carter suddenly care about going to school on time? She never actually goes to class.”Nobody’s going to get lost in the system.” What is this now, foster care? They’re all skipping school to day-drink at Max’s apartment? And smoking weed. Well, why the hell not? They’re already truant, let’s add to it by consuming an illegal substance.

Max being respectful of Taylor even when she says she wants him, but he knows her judgement is impaired is top notch. Awesome boyfriending!

Ugh, I knew they wouldn’t be on time to pick up Grant. Shame on them.

Also, Taylor is a follower. Lol, Elizabeth is observant. And where has David been all this time? Does he not understand that he’s gotta pick up the parenting slack if he kicks his wife out?

Ooh, I’ve figured it out. David needs to manipulate Carter into telling him it’s okay to publish the book about her, and thus keep his relationship with his daughter intact, hang on to his wife, publish his book, and make some money. Obviously, he’d rather not be in the situation in the first place, but if he had to be, best get something out of it. It’s sad that I’m beginning to understand David’s twisted mind.

Huh, a motel? Well, that explains where she’s been staying. My guess is that she doesn’t have a lot of friends with a couch she can crash on. Also, has she broken up with Gabe’s dad yet? She probably hasn’t been to work, so is she just avoiding him and hoping he’ll take the hint?

Wow, David is a really good actor. Also, really manipulative, and kind of a bad dad. Wonder if Elizabeth is in on her husband’s emotional manipulation of their daughter? Well, he didn’t get everything he wanted, I guess. His relationship with his daughter looks kind of damaged from here. She figured out that he lied about making a meeting with Lori. She looks pretty upset.

Okay, I counted 9 bra straps in this episode. We’ll see how that stacks up with the next one. Time for the secrets rundown!

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate. But now that they’re working on their marriage, perhaps they’ll get the check now after all.

Dad started to write the book about Carter secretly, even though he promised he would not. He then manipulated her into allowing him to write the book, though on her terms.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie. They seem to be happy, but he’s starting to kind of creep me out. He played average supportive boyfriend in this episode, which was a bit out of character.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo. But he also seems to be jealous of everyone. It’s now apparent that he probably developed emotional attachment problems due to his mother’s slow death due to cancer and his father’s subsequent detachment from reality.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She and Max are together now, and are adorable.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, and appears to be a bit jealous of Carter and him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings, but is starting to freak me our a bit and act a little cray cray.

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Posted in TV

Teen Wolf: Time of Death

Well, that title isn’t ominous at all.

Okay, adorable with the sleepy Malia sass and the whole old married couple thing going on. And then Stiles is alone. That’s actually so sad. I’ve started to really like them together, albeit against my will.

Agent McCall actually giving a shit about his son is nice. There are so many shitty parents on this show, we deserve at least one redemption story. I also appreciate the moment of fatherly advice, because while Scott is a grown up, dealing with grown up wolf stuff, he also still needs his parents. Wow, observant FBI agent. Nice. I can’t wait to see what Scott decides to tell him.

Man, does Doc get this emotional about every guy who comes into the ER? Oh, great. Scott’s dead again. Wow, I can’t wait to hear how they explain it this time.

“What are you doin’?” Bless you Derek.

“You’re not inspiring confidence” “Good, this is a terrible idea.” XD love the mother-daughter dialogue. And what happened to that stupid “we’re moving” storyline? Maybe they just dropped it, because they realized no one gives a shit about something they know won’t happen.

“What happens after 45 mintues?” Duh, dude. He fricking dies. The episode is called Time of Death.

Ooh, sexy bandaging scene. Is it just me, or are his muscles smaller than usual? Also, I love Braeden. Obviously, as she is both a POC and a woman, her time on the show is limited, but I’ll enjoy her while it lasts. She’s got a lot of power, despite not being supernatural, and lots of confidence. Though, like every other female character on the show, she appears to be wearing a Halloween costume. “Sexy Banshee,” “Sexy Kitsune,” “Sexy Assassin,” ect. COSTUME DESIGNERS, ATTENTION! Maybe actually have the characters wear things that their characters would wear. Instead of what you think would draw a male audience. Thanks.

And Malia’s adopted. Nice. Really, considering she’d been missing for years, couldn’t her dad have found it in him to tell her when she returned to him miraculously? Are we ever going to see her dad again? Also, Peter, as usual, prioritizing the important stuff.

And Stiles is his usual self

Also, Malia’s perfectly understated facial expressions are amazing. I kind of think Malia will do fine with the news. After all, she’s been a Coyote most of her life, and she values pack over blood any day, right? Though she’s years behind the other in terms of math, she has intuition and cleverness on her side. Peter is conniving ass, and she’ll realize that.

Oh, there’s Lydia. Twenty minutes into the episode and I wondered if she was sitting this one out.

Okay, I like this. Derek seems to be lightening up around Braeden. Oh, Derek. Good, you just fall for her, work together and hang out in the loft, bench pressing and wearing tank tops, and come crying to us when she gets killed.

Derek Hale Teen Wolf animated GIF 

Okay, Liam conveniently learns to control his powers.

Also, as I predicted, Peter and Malia have become the sass dream team. Also, why did Talia take so many apparently crucial memories from her family members? Wtf Talia? Or, overused plot device of Talia taking memories from someone to extend the mystery.

Oh, I like the team work with the moms- Melissa and Noshiko should hang out.

This episode definitely has too much going on. We have flashbacks, dream sequence Scott, Lydia and her mom, Peter and Malia, and the whole mess of tiny groups at the hospital.

image

Wow, poor mama Yukimura. Hope she’s okay. The way Scott and Kira hold hands is the most awkward.

I love the Lydia storyline we’re heading towards, because we might actually get some answers about her, and she might get more than two seconds of screen time.

Side note for any Disney/Pixar fans, the Edna Mode tag on tumblr is just fantastic.

Posted in TV

Teen Wolf: “Weaponized”

Wow, an episode about the SATs? I thought I was done with those two years ago. Not exactly their most inventive. I mean, these writers just love any excuse to lock all of the students inside the school building. It’ll be a miracle if anyone is left alive by graduation.

Also, way to be observant, Mrs. Martin! I mean, the adults in Beacon Hills aren’t known for their cunning or observation. I guess we know where Lydia gets it from. I mean, from what little we’ve seen of her dad, he looks none too bright. So I guess her brilliance comes from her mother’s side.

Okay, there has to be a cure for this thing, now that Scott’s infected. Is no one keeping Liam in the loop? Now he’s a werewolf, his step dad, the doctor can probably help. I mean, there’s a reason he was established as a character.

Why isn’t Lydia at her house, instead of the lake house? Something’s going down with that lake house, unless they somehow misplaced the set for Lydia’s room. Also, even when she’s going through a crisis, her hair game is always on point.

The awkwardness between Kira and Malia while waiting to get tested is so real. Also, why isn’t Malia wearing any clothes? Put on some pants, girl. Also, way to get the vault open without revealing her true parentage. It looks pretty damn cool, too. I’m actually wondering how many people know about Malia’s dad. I mean, Peter knows, Scott knows, Stiles knows. Does Derek? She’s a part of his family too. He doesn’t have much family either, so I think he’d appreciate it. I’m just not sure what Malia’s dad is going to do about it. His only living family turns out to not actually be his biological daughter. I’d really like to see a Malia focused episode, just to see what her home life looks like. A really sweet Stalia moment- gotta say, the trust there would be awesome if he weren’t keeping half a dozen secrets from her.

But Thats None Of My Business Drinking animated GIF

Also, sweet moment with Derek having a family. Except that most of them are dead. yeah. And it just so happens that the memory Derek retained the the secret to saving the day. %sin of convenience

Also, doing the germ spreading with the ink? Clever. Man, biological warfare is scary. And everyone’s okay! It’s actually resolved fairly quickly. But seriously, what a fricking coincidence that IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME. IN THE PLACE OUR HEROES FLED FOR SAFETY. A+ WRITERS.

And now Malia knows the truth.

Drama Dramatic animated GIF
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Finding Carter: Midseason Trailer Analysis

After the bombshell that was episode seven of Finding Carter, a pretty great episode following an iffy few, we got this great mid-season trailer to give us an idea of what’s to come. If you haven’t seen it yet, you can watch it here.

Okay, the beginning of the trailer (the first few seconds) covers everyone being grateful for Carter’s decision. Then, with everyone all cheery and bright-eyed, Grant drops the bombshell about Elizabeth’s affair. As a result, apparently, Elizabeth doesn’t want her marriage to end and wants to make things good with David? Despite the fact that until the end of episode seven she’s been on the verge of leaving him for a while now, at least a year, given her “anniversary” with her boyfriend, Gabe’s dad. This will probably complicate their relationship further, as we see his sad face for like one frame.

It also seems like, in happier news, Taylor and Max may consummate their relationship. He didn’t get to be her first kiss, so this should make Max happy. I’m in support of this plot point, because Taylor has really grown on me, and Max is awesome, definitely my favorite character. If they can just be happy for a few episodes, I’ll be glad. Maxflower forever! I mean, probably not. Max is sweet for a first love, but he’s not the long-term type. I just really ship them right now.

It appears that Bird is a shoplifter? Probably got a five finger discount on that fancy bracelet she gave Carter as a goodbye present. Hopefully she’ll come clean instead of letting her friend take the fall. I’m really conflicted about Bird. I’m pretty sure she’s actually bipolar, her character is so inconsistent.

We get a second of Carter yelling at Elizabeth, possibly related to her affair, or David’s book, which it is implied that she finds out about.David coming clean about the book would make me like him way more. His character initially gave me the impression of a good guy in a bad place, but now with his possible relationship to Lori, writing Finding Carter secretly, and manipulating his guilty wife, I’m getting more of a sinister vibe from him.

Carter and Max argue, possibly related to Crash, whom he doesn’t seem to like, or because she is talking about running away again. It’s probable that after Elizabeth and David’s secrets come out, that Carter will regret her choice. She placed her trust in them, or at least in her father, and they both lied to her unrepentantly and repeatedly. So she’ll probably have a lot to say about that.

Crash appears to be on the decline, which I was kind of expecting. Things got so serious with Carter so fast, and he seems really impulsive so it would figure he’s a basket case. I have no idea how to explain the blood or the gun at the end, but I guess we’ll see soon.

Can’t wait to see the next episode, hopefully with less product placement! Read my review of episode seven here in the mean time.

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Finding Carter: Throw Momma From the Train

So we left Carter literally holding a new life in her hands. She has been ripped away from all she knows once already, but now she has the chance to take her life into her own hands, and make the choice to be with her mom, or stay with her family.

And we start with a sweet morning wake-up call by the fam for their birthdays. It’s kind of a sin of convenience that their birthday falls on the day Lori has proposed to run away, but I’ll let it slide, since it appears to be working.

I love the silent communication between Carter and Taytay. They have bonded pretty well, despite having been separate most of their lives, and the way they act together now feels way more natural than in earlier episodes. 

Okay, the family in this scene is actually perfect. Gammie and Grandad both are great. Grant does his thing perfectly. Macy’s product placement! I also love how well Gammie knows her girls- “Something without holes in it.” and “Slinky, sexy.” 

Also Sassy Gammie is my new fave. “unload this loser” “Please tell me you’re seeing someone else.” Kind of a rich parents disapprove of their daughter’s husband cliche, but whatever. 

Oh, Carter’s birthday is obviously the day Lori took her. And how many of them are drinking mimosas? The girls are only seventeen!

Ooh, Taylor inherited the sassy genes from Gammie.

Fashion side note: When did Tay pick up her sister’s exposed bra straps thing? Also, what is with these girls and sleeping in their bras? There’s this thing called comfort.

MACY’S PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

Sassy Taylor is on point this episode! I love that eyeliner on her. Also, they both actually pull the dress off pretty well. Similar body types.

“I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.” Really, about to break up her marriage catastrophically? Elizabeth seriously has low standards for happiness.

LOL Max. In every scene, Max is the best ever. “That’s a trick sentence.” Also, “I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Taylor.” I swear, Max is the best, I freaking love him. I also love the way he acts around Taylor. While he and she call Carter out on her BS, he also has so much respect for Taylor, which I really love about him. 

Okay, this party looks very adult friendly, which means it can’t possibly be any fun. Also, poor Grant taking coats.

Not exactly graceful going down the stairs, but eh. It’s a party. Also, sweet moment between Crarter- I’m starting to warm up to them, but they still seem like crazy rushed and more than a little forced on Carter’s side. She also appears to be becoming less and less sure about her decision though.

Also, asides with Bird and Ofie. they are the rosencrantz and guildenstern of Finding Carter. 

Nothing is more awkward that your girlfriend’s husband being overly polite and welcoming to you.

And more awkwardness appears to run in the family, with Gabe having a brief moment of Maxflower jealousy. I thought you guys had a mutual agreement! Dude, make some decisions. Also, Max remains fabulous. 

Poor Grant! Being the replacement child’s gotta be hard when the original is getting so much attention. Seriously, Gammie, cut the little dude some slack.

Also, Crash is so clearly in love with Carter, and she just wants him to chill a little. I get why he’d want to run away from his shit life, but it’s a bit overboard. Okay, this moment where Crash suggests that he and Lori could be everything for Carter is so weird. No one can be everything for someone- she has all of this family now, how could they possibly be that for her? Also, does no one notice that two out of three of the Wilson children are missing from the party? 

Okay, Gabe. You have no right to feel bad for yourself. You pursued both sisters pretty half-assed, so just chill out and go mack on Bird. Okay, sweet moment with Gabe and Grant followed by them shutting themselves in a closet together. That’s not weird. 

Okay, Bird is acting OOC, by being a supportive friend. Also, Ofie, a Bop It is way more entertaining that diamonds. Seriously, Bop It is a girl’s best friend. Also, Sassy Ofie is sassy.

And Sassy David is sassy. Rawr. Okay, let’s just say that no one noticed him grab her and drag her up the stairs. Ooh, the Grant & Gabe cheese puff extravaganza was just a ploy to get them both somewhere they could secretly overhear their parents loudly discussing their extramarital affair. #sin of convenience

Poor Grant, he feels so on the outside. At least Gabe is there to make him feel a bit less alone. In a darkened, tiny closet.       

Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 10.34.07 AMMore product placement! Macy’s must have given them a crapload of money. Also, Lori is looking crazier and crazier.

Thing is, in a twisted way, I get what Lori did. Lying to Carter, calling the day she took her a birthday. I mean, the kidnapping is completely inexcusable. Who just does that and expects a normal kid? But she appears to really love Carter, and lying to her about their past is something she had to do. Still, the jokey hospital scene is like, okay. Not a red flag? Well fine then.

Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 10.46.00 AMAnd David is up late into the night typing his contraband. It actually shows which parent Carter feels trusting towards and connects with best, because she brought all of this to her Dad. Also, this is why you don’t kidnap people. They get f’ed up in the head. It’s good that David’s all there for her and stuff, but I’m really not sure what he’s going to do about it.

Oh, poor Grant. Suffering under the weight of secrets concerning his mother’s sex life. That kind of beat most of the stuff everyone else is dealing with. Except for maybe Carter and Lori. NO CARTER. YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS INFO. DO NOT LET IT SLIDE. YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER IS CLEARLY TROUBLED. BE A FUCKING SISTER.

Oh, man. This is actually a pretty good scene with Elizabeth and David. Elizabeth is a little more human, David is a little more cryptic. Seems likely that he and Lori had an affair or something way back when, and maybe she took Carter for revenge? Okay, also, weirdest foreplay ever.  

And that’s the end! Wow, okay.

Mom has had an affair with her old partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but now it’s back on and she said that it’s over between her and her husband. Daddy David actually has known about it this whole time, he was planning to divorce her, now he seems to be unsure, because he kind of confronted his wife’s boyfriend, and now they seem to be doing it again. But Gabe and Grant overheard his dad and Elizabeth arguing, so they might actually blow the lid off the big secret.

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate. But now that seems to be kind of up in the air.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t. That’s where he got the big bucks. Seems like she may find out pretty soon though.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

And now the complicated romantic entanglements!

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie. They seem to be happy, but he’s starting to kind of creep me out.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo. But he also seems to be jealous of everyone.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She and Max are together now.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, and appears to be a bit jealous of Carter and him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings, but is starting to freak me our a bit and act a little cray cray.

I’ll also be doing an analysis on the mid season trailer, so I’ll post a link to that here once it’s up. This episode was actually pretty good, it exceeded my expectations. A-, because of all the suspension of disbelief due to the whole convenience of the entire episode.  

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Finding Carter: “The Fugitive”

Okay, Kathryn’s acting isn’t exactly on point this episode. While I kind of figured we were veering into a Crash direction, that doesn’t mean I have to like it! I think Carter doesn’t actually like him, he’s put her in bad situations. She likes that guys like her, she gives a little attention to the guys who worship her. Which kind of speaks to her daddy issues.

Okay, awkward but kinda friendly scene with Gabe and Taylor. Suddenly Wallflower’s the belle of the ball, sought after by every suitor! What’s with the bandana, dude? Leave the eighties where they belong. I kind of like their conversation, they’re both really honest and Gabe is really sweet, but he keeps bouncing between sisters, which is weird. He seems the loyal type, but he keeps making these rookie mistakes.

Okay, Carter. What’s with the rookie errors going on in this episode? Never do you show up at a guy’s house when he clearly doesn’t want to see you there TWICE? Also, when your friend has given you a cryptic warning. LISTEN TO CRYPTIC WARNINGS, GIRL!

While I do not ship the disaster that is Crarter, that kiss scene was kind of cute. But since that’s resolved, I’m guessing some other conflict is going to arise.

The “Quick n’ Easy”? The pun opportunities are endless. Even when Maxflower is awkward, they are the cutest couple. Still, it seems like they’ve moved backwards, rather than forwards.

Okay, Crash has a tragic past involving sad younger sibling death which he blames himself for. That’s actually really sad, but lots of people lose people they care about without turning to a life of poorly executed crimes. But it looks like he won’t be around a whole lot longer, if that charge goes through.

I really am no longer invested in the plot with the dissolution of the Wilson’s already shitty marriage. Elizabeth doesn’t feel bad about cheating on David, clearly. So there’s three ways this can end: One, she doesn’t confess, stays with him, he keeps her because sentimentality. Two, she confesses, they divorce, she moves in with Bad Cop. Three, he confronts her, messy divorce.

Wow is Elizabeth a terrible liar. Also, why use a lie that is so easily traced? Elizabeth and Carter connecting is good. Her putting Crash in jail is not.

Okay, I like that Taylor and Gabe both have a realization that they’re like siblings, having known each other all of their academic lives and just being in the same place for so long. It seems relatively organic, though they do have all of those childhood stories shoehorned in that one scene. That mini golf course looks a little shifty too, like some creepy dude is just gonna be hanging out around the fourth hole. Plus, who takes a girl for mini golf any more? Not a way to create romantic sparks. The cliche is so real.

Alan Rickman Blackeyesandbowties animated GIF

And Carter and Crash get sexy! Great, give a man a last cigarette before he gets tried. But never do you make a commitment to wait for a guy for three years in prison! You barely know him. And they have a post-coital fight about his going to jail- you know, usual after skipping school activity for sixteen year-old girls.

Okay, why does all of the sisterly bonding in this house always take place in the bathroom?

And Mama Bear Elizabeth pulls a fast one- can’t say I’m shocked. Crash says it all-she loves Carter more than she hates him. Getting the boy her daughter cares about out of jail time is definitely the most generous thing she’s done on the show.

Doctor Who No Problem animated GIF 

Okay, now David is actively sabotaging his wife’s affair. This was not one of my predicted outcomes! Elizabeth is lying so much – what exactly is her timeline for breaking up her marriage, which, at this point, more resembles a game of Battleship?

And we get a nice Lori/Carter reunion, before she tells Carter that they have Russian passports. Russian passports? That just seems like a poor plan. As far as we know, neither of them speak Russian. Plus Russia’s kind of . . . Russian. That might be a culture shock for two Americans. Also, the feds have gotta be watching the flights. Just get on one of those shifty cargo ships and go to Australia, or Ireland! As long as you’re far from American authorities, it really doesn’t matter where you are. But maybe go somewhere where they speak the same language as you? How is it that I can come up with a more practical escape plan than a kidnapper?

30 Rock Confused animated GIF

 

What a dilemma! Carter is kind of settling in, she has this boyfriend she is somehow making plans for a future with, despite having just gotten together, and good relationships with friends and siblings. She can stay – and live the life she might have lived. Or, she can leave with the woman who brought her up, who she loves and misses. And they can start over, and she can get the answers she’s been longing for. Which would you pick?

Side note: All of the ads during breaks for his show are for condoms or acne wash. That says something about the audience for this show.

This episode, in SECRETS!

Mom has had an affair with her old partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but now it’s back on and she said that it’s over between her and her husband. Daddy David actually has known about it this whole time, he was planning to divorce her, but now he’s just trying to keep her from meeting her lover.

Carter is trying to get back with Lori, her “real” mom. And now she has that option. Max is less than thrilled, but knows. So does Crash.

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t. That’s where he got the big bucks.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

And now the complicated romantic entanglements!

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She doesn’t know how Max feels about her.

Max likes Taylor. He’s just trying to keep the Lori situation under control, and is not very confrontational.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, but appears to not actually have feelings for him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter, which may effect her decision about whether to leave or not. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings.

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The Lottery: First Thoughts (episodes 1+2)

While the name confused many as referring to the famous short story, this show is only remotely similar. A lottery is commenced to decide who gets an embryo in a global fertility crisis, and as a result people have gone slightly insane.

I really hate evil white bureaucrat guy Darius. God, do the suits on this show have any redeeming qualities? He’s also stupid. Never do you fire the woman who makes that big a leap. That dude is very shady, he just unrepentantly murders a woman. What kind of age is this? Also, why would you kill someone you don’t really have to kill? I thought humanity was in danger of extinction.

Speaking of which, let’s do the math on that. Approximately 56,597,034 people die every year. The current world population is 7,177,568,766. Estimated world population for 2019, the year women stopped conceiving, is 7,558,167,582. We’re going to assume, for the purposes of simplicity and my laziness, that the birth rate only dropped off slightly until then. In order to further simplify, I’m going to round the numbers off.

Chris Evans Cool Story Bro animated GIFDeaths per year: 56.6 million

Current population: 7.2 billion

Estimated 2019 population: 7.6 billion

Okay, assuming the death rate remains stable, in six years 339.6 million people die. That takes world population down to around 7.3 billion, which is a little higher than today’s. So, IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT CLOSE TO EXTINCTION? I would understand the worry for the species if the last children were in their late thirties, but for real? They’ve been working on curing this thing for six years. In terms of scientific discovery, hell, in terms of human history – that’s a drop in the ocean. Give it some more time, people.

Hot dad Kyle is the best character on the show. He’s motivated only by the love he has for his child, you can see that clearly. After being separated from his son, he hugs him close and breathes deeply, smelling his son’s distinctive scent. Despite having named his child “Elvis” (yuck) he’s so far the most compassionate and sympathetic character on the show. Plus, the only one who has motivation outside of the ephemeral notion of the “greater good.” His actions are based only on what’s good for his son, and keeping his family together. Despite having committed what is deemed a crime, he’s the least morally compromised character on the show.

Both the scientist and one of the successful donors were adopted, there’s possibly a link there. Oh, I’m sad hippie chick is dead.  Despite being named Brooke (yuck) she was really sweet.

Okay, these people in the president’s administration gotta be some future version of democrats. The amount of government overreach is staggering. I get it, it’s a future full of uncertainty and stuff, but aren’t citizens allowed any form of privacy, or liberty? Yeah, let’s keep a secret from our nation and the rest of the world. Let’s not offer anyone a choice. The lottery is also a bad idea, just give the women their fricking eggs! Disclaimer: I’m a liberal republicrat, I’m not a government conspiracy nut. I think they do a great job delivering the mail and making sure I can drink clean water. Still, I’m really disturbed whenever I watch stuff like this that depicts the government as this dark oligarchy. I’m aware that the government is doing shady stuff all the time, but I get relief from pretending that stuff doesn’t happen under the government I voted into power.

Okay, brilliant scientist Alison is kind of stupid. Who does something extremely illegal and doesn’t carry a weapon? Get a damn taser!

All of these fertility laws sound very, very extreme. Wtf? How is none of this regulated? This government violates the privacy and rights of its citizens without protecting them at all.

House House Md animated GIF

Ooh, Austin T. Richards. Hey, I knew he was sleeping with that Vanessa woman. They’re cute. Too bad political relationships are doomed. And from the preview in the next episode, it looks like he might die.

Good, finally someone uses strong language to talk about how incredibly messed up this is. Kyle, man. He’s the best.

Oh, great. Now the guys in suits are torturing a pretty white woman. This isn’t going to make the shit hit the fan at all.

Aw, Kyle has a nice friend with a kid Elvis’s age. That’s actually super sweet. Man, not only is he a good guy, but a smart thief. How much do I love this guy? Very much. We knew the kid couldn’t die, he’s just too damn cute.

Series Projections

– Darius is a good villain, I really hate him and he scares our protagonists, so he’s effective. Though it doesn’t seem like he has a lot of power in the current administration, he’s planning for the long haul. God, he’s a dick. I hope Vanessa slaps him. He killed that nice hippie lady! He deserves that at least.

– Kyle is a great character, a young single dad with a lot on his plate. The plot device of sick kid is kind of overdone, but it works.

– Everyone in the government feels kind of evil, I just hope Vanessa steps it up. She’s trying not to directly confront Darius, but she needs to make it clear that she’s the boss and he needs to bow down. There is no room for creepy dictators trying to take away the last semblance of privacy that Americans have.

– I’m on the fence with Dr. Alison. Ethically speaking, she and Kyle are close to being on the same page, but they’re on separate sides. She, unwillingly, is working for the government, doing work she believes in. He is trying to protect his family and keep his son, and is on the run from the government. Her experiments need him to participate, as he is the only link we have so far to the cure.

– Government interference is truly insane. The degree to which they supervise the lives of these last few children is just horrifying. To be blunt, these kids are not special. Sure, they’re the last ones. But they’re normal in every other way. The deserve to live normal lives and to be raised by parents who love them. The whole privatizing the one hundred embryos is just a civil war waiting to happen. If people aren’t angry enough already, that would be a tipping point.