Finding Carter: “Half Baked”

This episode probably picks up the day after Carter’s big choice- because it was a choice. It could be argued that she gave the key and the phone to her dad because she couldn’t make the choice, but in giving it to him, she chose her blood kin. She severed all ties to her mother, and gave David the opportunity to incarcerate Lori, if he and Elizabeth had chosen to. To be fair to Carter, she did chose that course of action at the end of an emotionally exhausting day, having spent months being exposed only to people who really hated Lori (with good reason). So, I’m curious to see the emotional fallout in this episode, especially given what we saw in the preview.

So the episode opens on a meeting with Lori that David set up for Carter. This already feels suspect. Lori doesn’t show, and David’s speech to his daughter sounds way too rehearsed. How would he have even contacted Lori after he hung up? She said the phone was only good for one call. I’m guessing that David made up the whole meeting thing to get Carter to move on.

Fashion side note: Okay, I’ve been lenient before about making exposed bra straps a thing again, but I count one racer back lace bra, a magenta camisole and a black camisole. Seriously, Carter. You barely need a bra to begin with, let alone two. I’m going to start counting the bra straps I see in every episode, with each set of straps counting as one and including the ones in the intro song.

“I hate you!” Wow, Grant. Harsh. But he’s just a kid, not even a teenager yet. No matter how independent he’s had to be, he isn’t able to handle this. But seriously, what kind of mother lets her son talk to her like that? Also, David being nice. That totally means he’s up to something.

Max watering plants, because he’s perfect and loves the earth. Also, his diatribe on the carbon cycle is amazing. And wow, everyone knows about mommy’s dirty little secret in pretty quick succession. gotta say, so far, my favorite reaction is Carter’s. Though Grant’s little comment about the doughnuts is adorable. And mom’s been having said affair for three years! Hot damn. And Gabe’s mom was dying of cancer. Well, that explains where she is, and his issues with attachment to women. Also, wow. That must have been a sucky adolesence. I can’t see this confrontation ending well, although I also didn’t think it would escalate this quickly. Supportive Max is supportive.

Also, they both look crazy uncomfortable. Like, they said, let’s cross our arms. Oh, never mind, we shouldn’t. Oh damn, they’re here, cross your arms. Wow, more brand names. Adidas must have given them way less money than Macy’s. Also, the girls keep their arms crossed.

Lol, “Carter did most of the talking, and she’s really good at that.” XD Taylor knows what’s up. I love that Taylor speaks her mind and doesn’t hold back on telling her mother how she feels, because she seems like she tries to spare other people’s feelings a lot, and she’s been way bolder lately. “I’m so not used to this family drama.” Girl where you been the last few months?

Why does Carter suddenly care about going to school on time? She never actually goes to class.”Nobody’s going to get lost in the system.” What is this now, foster care? They’re all skipping school to day-drink at Max’s apartment? And smoking weed. Well, why the hell not? They’re already truant, let’s add to it by consuming an illegal substance.

Max being respectful of Taylor even when she says she wants him, but he knows her judgement is impaired is top notch. Awesome boyfriending!

Ugh, I knew they wouldn’t be on time to pick up Grant. Shame on them.

Also, Taylor is a follower. Lol, Elizabeth is observant. And where has David been all this time? Does he not understand that he’s gotta pick up the parenting slack if he kicks his wife out?

Ooh, I’ve figured it out. David needs to manipulate Carter into telling him it’s okay to publish the book about her, and thus keep his relationship with his daughter intact, hang on to his wife, publish his book, and make some money. Obviously, he’d rather not be in the situation in the first place, but if he had to be, best get something out of it. It’s sad that I’m beginning to understand David’s twisted mind.

Huh, a motel? Well, that explains where she’s been staying. My guess is that she doesn’t have a lot of friends with a couch she can crash on. Also, has she broken up with Gabe’s dad yet? She probably hasn’t been to work, so is she just avoiding him and hoping he’ll take the hint?

Wow, David is a really good actor. Also, really manipulative, and kind of a bad dad. Wonder if Elizabeth is in on her husband’s emotional manipulation of their daughter? Well, he didn’t get everything he wanted, I guess. His relationship with his daughter looks kind of damaged from here. She figured out that he lied about making a meeting with Lori. She looks pretty upset.

Okay, I counted 9 bra straps in this episode. We’ll see how that stacks up with the next one. Time for the secrets rundown!

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate. But now that they’re working on their marriage, perhaps they’ll get the check now after all.

Dad started to write the book about Carter secretly, even though he promised he would not. He then manipulated her into allowing him to write the book, though on her terms.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie. They seem to be happy, but he’s starting to kind of creep me out. He played average supportive boyfriend in this episode, which was a bit out of character.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo. But he also seems to be jealous of everyone. It’s now apparent that he probably developed emotional attachment problems due to his mother’s slow death due to cancer and his father’s subsequent detachment from reality.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She and Max are together now, and are adorable.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, and appears to be a bit jealous of Carter and him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings, but is starting to freak me our a bit and act a little cray cray.

Finding Carter: Throw Momma From the Train

So we left Carter literally holding a new life in her hands. She has been ripped away from all she knows once already, but now she has the chance to take her life into her own hands, and make the choice to be with her mom, or stay with her family.

And we start with a sweet morning wake-up call by the fam for their birthdays. It’s kind of a sin of convenience that their birthday falls on the day Lori has proposed to run away, but I’ll let it slide, since it appears to be working.

I love the silent communication between Carter and Taytay. They have bonded pretty well, despite having been separate most of their lives, and the way they act together now feels way more natural than in earlier episodes. 

Okay, the family in this scene is actually perfect. Gammie and Grandad both are great. Grant does his thing perfectly. Macy’s product placement! I also love how well Gammie knows her girls- “Something without holes in it.” and “Slinky, sexy.” 

Also Sassy Gammie is my new fave. “unload this loser” “Please tell me you’re seeing someone else.” Kind of a rich parents disapprove of their daughter’s husband cliche, but whatever. 

Oh, Carter’s birthday is obviously the day Lori took her. And how many of them are drinking mimosas? The girls are only seventeen!

Ooh, Taylor inherited the sassy genes from Gammie.

Fashion side note: When did Tay pick up her sister’s exposed bra straps thing? Also, what is with these girls and sleeping in their bras? There’s this thing called comfort.

MACY’S PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

Sassy Taylor is on point this episode! I love that eyeliner on her. Also, they both actually pull the dress off pretty well. Similar body types.

“I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.” Really, about to break up her marriage catastrophically? Elizabeth seriously has low standards for happiness.

LOL Max. In every scene, Max is the best ever. “That’s a trick sentence.” Also, “I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Taylor.” I swear, Max is the best, I freaking love him. I also love the way he acts around Taylor. While he and she call Carter out on her BS, he also has so much respect for Taylor, which I really love about him. 

Okay, this party looks very adult friendly, which means it can’t possibly be any fun. Also, poor Grant taking coats.

Not exactly graceful going down the stairs, but eh. It’s a party. Also, sweet moment between Crarter- I’m starting to warm up to them, but they still seem like crazy rushed and more than a little forced on Carter’s side. She also appears to be becoming less and less sure about her decision though.

Also, asides with Bird and Ofie. they are the rosencrantz and guildenstern of Finding Carter. 

Nothing is more awkward that your girlfriend’s husband being overly polite and welcoming to you.

And more awkwardness appears to run in the family, with Gabe having a brief moment of Maxflower jealousy. I thought you guys had a mutual agreement! Dude, make some decisions. Also, Max remains fabulous. 

Poor Grant! Being the replacement child’s gotta be hard when the original is getting so much attention. Seriously, Gammie, cut the little dude some slack.

Also, Crash is so clearly in love with Carter, and she just wants him to chill a little. I get why he’d want to run away from his shit life, but it’s a bit overboard. Okay, this moment where Crash suggests that he and Lori could be everything for Carter is so weird. No one can be everything for someone- she has all of this family now, how could they possibly be that for her? Also, does no one notice that two out of three of the Wilson children are missing from the party? 

Okay, Gabe. You have no right to feel bad for yourself. You pursued both sisters pretty half-assed, so just chill out and go mack on Bird. Okay, sweet moment with Gabe and Grant followed by them shutting themselves in a closet together. That’s not weird. 

Okay, Bird is acting OOC, by being a supportive friend. Also, Ofie, a Bop It is way more entertaining that diamonds. Seriously, Bop It is a girl’s best friend. Also, Sassy Ofie is sassy.

And Sassy David is sassy. Rawr. Okay, let’s just say that no one noticed him grab her and drag her up the stairs. Ooh, the Grant & Gabe cheese puff extravaganza was just a ploy to get them both somewhere they could secretly overhear their parents loudly discussing their extramarital affair. #sin of convenience

Poor Grant, he feels so on the outside. At least Gabe is there to make him feel a bit less alone. In a darkened, tiny closet.       

More product placement! Macy’s must have given them a crapload of money. Also, Lori is looking crazier and crazier.

Thing is, in a twisted way, I get what Lori did. Lying to Carter, calling the day she took her a birthday. I mean, the kidnapping is completely inexcusable. Who just does that and expects a normal kid? But she appears to really love Carter, and lying to her about their past is something she had to do. Still, the jokey hospital scene is like, okay. Not a red flag? Well fine then.

And David is up late into the night typing his contraband. It actually shows which parent Carter feels trusting towards and connects with best, because she brought all of this to her Dad. Also, this is why you don’t kidnap people. They get f’ed up in the head. It’s good that David’s all there for her and stuff, but I’m really not sure what he’s going to do about it.

Oh, poor Grant. Suffering under the weight of secrets concerning his mother’s sex life. That kind of beat most of the stuff everyone else is dealing with. Except for maybe Carter and Lori. NO CARTER. YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS INFO. DO NOT LET IT SLIDE. YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER IS CLEARLY TROUBLED. BE A FUCKING SISTER.

Oh, man. This is actually a pretty good scene with Elizabeth and David. Elizabeth is a little more human, David is a little more cryptic. Seems likely that he and Lori had an affair or something way back when, and maybe she took Carter for revenge? Okay, also, weirdest foreplay ever.  

And that’s the end! Wow, okay.

Mom has had an affair with her old partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but now it’s back on and she said that it’s over between her and her husband. Daddy David actually has known about it this whole time, he was planning to divorce her, now he seems to be unsure, because he kind of confronted his wife’s boyfriend, and now they seem to be doing it again. But Gabe and Grant overheard his dad and Elizabeth arguing, so they might actually blow the lid off the big secret.

David and Elizabeth know that they are in foreclosure, but the kids aren’t in the loop. Also, they just used their daughters to get money from her parents. Also, David got a huge check from his publisher, but his agent took it back so that Elizabeth won’t get half when they separate. But now that seems to be kind of up in the air.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t. That’s where he got the big bucks. Seems like she may find out pretty soon though.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.

Carter appears to be the only one who knows that someone abused Bird. We’ll probably hear more about this later.

And now the complicated romantic entanglements!

Carter is dating Crash. She has kissed pretty much every other guy on the show, except Ofie. They seem to be happy, but he’s starting to kind of creep me out.

Gabe used to be into Carter, but then he wanted Taylor, but they mutually decided that they’re more like family. So now he’s kind of in love limbo. But he also seems to be jealous of everyone.

Taylor wants Max, and used to want Gabe, but she got over him. She and Max are together now.

Bird screwed Crash in her closet, and appears to be a bit jealous of Carter and him. Plus she has that mysterious abuser in her past that we don’t know much about yet.

Crash is now dating Carter. He seems to fully reciprocate her feelings, but is starting to freak me our a bit and act a little cray cray.

I’ll also be doing an analysis on the mid season trailer, so I’ll post a link to that here once it’s up. This episode was actually pretty good, it exceeded my expectations. A-, because of all the suspension of disbelief due to the whole convenience of the entire episode.  

Finding Carter: “The Drive”

Well, we’ve established our main characters, a few secrets and some minor subplots! Let’s watch episode three.

Ooh, cute blond guy in the police station. Thank God the FBI picked up Carter’s kidnapping, I swear the local police already made enough fools of themselves. Why on earth is Carter apologizing to the whole police force? Carter does not seem the kind of girl to apologize. Also, Carter, play nice to the cop lady, who happens to be your biological mother, who can further ruin your life. You have no credibility right now. YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. FOR DOING DRUGS. STOP TESTING HER LIMITS.

 

Oh, Crash is good with words. Does anyone ever not manipulate this girl? Seriously, these kids are bad for Carter. She meets the local rich kids and it all goes downhill. And why was Wallflower friends with that guy she likes? She’s opposite of intense. He’s all buddy buddy with the local underage bookie (I just call him Eyebrows, I have no idea what his name is.) She’s probably on the Yearbook Committee.

Speaking of the Rich Kids, man does Carter inspire loyalty fast. They’re trying to help her find her fugitive mother. That’s loyalty.

Love the rapport between the parents “Not the surfer dude- the surfer dude?” Well, Denisof saves the day! Maybe there’s hope for this dreadful marriage after all. I mean, they do seem to be able to have a conversation about the future of their delinquent daughter without fighting.

Okay, teaching the preteen to roll a joint? I’m less than pleased with you, golden boy.

 

Now that’s awkward. Carter really wants to drive these people away, huh? Making out with a guy in front of all of those people, at least half of which are related to her? They all know how weird it is. Man, Carter is just needlessly rebellious.

LOL, when Carter says her mother told her that her father was some “Beautiful Stranger.” Alexis Denisof is beautiful, you dummy.

 

Carter seems to have no social skills. Like, thou shalt not discuss thy parents’ marriage with thy parents. Still, she and Daddy David seem to be doing pretty well.

Can we just talk about how adorable and lovable Max is? He’s just like a well-meaning, not too bright puppy. He’s way cuter with all of that hair out of the way, and Wallflower knows it. Get it girl! Your sister basically has every other eligible bachelor in town in the palm of her hand. And he is literally the sweetest person alive. Okay, I’m done. I ship it.

 

“That’s not a real job!” He’s so adorable. From the first episode, I kinda thought Max would be kind of a dirt bag, but so far he’s the least douchey, most forward person on this show. Team Maxflower!

Oh, and Elizabeth has an evil plan! Poor Taylor. She seems so sweet, I hope she doesn’t have her heart broken twice in as many episodes. She’s dull, but she has a pretty face, and she certainly doesn’t dress as boringly as earlier. She means well, give her a break!

Papa Gabe, or The Guy Elizabeth is Cheating With has a heart to heart with his son. Also, he looks about thirty years old. And don’t be stupid, telling him not to go out with her will make him want her more. We’ve already seen this with Crash. Don’t make the same parenting mistake twice in one episode! Besides, he probably only wants to keep them apart to make it less awkward when they become step-siblings. That’s gonna be a fun time.

Wow, Elizabeth really knows how to act. She is a bit evil, isn’t she? Forcing Max our of the house during dinner? Cold. She takes another turn at the Let’s Manipulate Carter table. Who tries to coerce their teenage daughter to sleep with another teenager? Creepy.

Also, love the cute bathroom scene with Carter and Wallflower. Very sisterly. Where does Carter get off telling her sister that she likes every male person? “When it comes to boys, you win.” Well said, Wallflower! Impressive.

And Gabe is on the hook! Carter just friendzoned yet another guy. But she has so many on the hook at this point, I don’t know what to think.

Wow, Carter. I’m not sure that qualifies as a skirt. More a wide belt. But Cute Felon has a cool vintage car. Why the hell not? What’s the worst that could happen, in a car alone with a guy you barely know, who you know is unafraid of breaking the law, and has a record? Again, not a great show of judgement from Carter. Strike two!

 

“Seems like there’s a lot of guys filling in that application.” Cute scene with Max and little Bro. Also shows that Max is actually completely self-aware. Okay, he’s actually perfect. Max is adorable.

Oh, he stole the car. Damn. Crash! Why you gotta lie to a sister? Yeah Carter, admit you were wrong. Work on being more responsible while you’re at it.

Oh, cute scene with Daddy David. New secret! And just when they’re having a nice hug, Lori drives by. Gasp! Fin.

This episode did a great job developing David’s character better, and making the audience a little more sympathetic to Elizabeth, but it further explored the flaws in Carter’s characterization. While her sister Taylor is the girl next door, she’s the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. She’s a rebel, and has a dark past, a pretty face and nice legs. And that’s pretty much it. Add a little sarcasm, and mix. What are her passions? What does she do for fun, aside from underage drinking and making her parents miserable? What did she even talk about before she became a news story?

I’ve decided to keep a tally of big secrets that make it through each episode, since Carter claims everyone is lying to her, and they pretty much are. Basically, only stuff people are intentionally keeping from each other out of malice or to save themselves from consequences. So, Taylor crushing on Max doesn’t count.

Mom has had an affair with her partner, who is also Gabe’s dad. She ended it, but the preview for the next episode makes it seem like they might get back together.

Carter is trying to get back with Lori, her “real” mom. (This isn’t really a secret, but I felt it qualified.)

Dad is the only one who knows that they are in foreclosure.

Dad is secretly writing the book about Carter, though he promised her he wouldn’t. Though he does appear to regret agreeing to write it, so there’s that.

Carter and Dad are the only ones who know that Carter nearly got caught with Crash in a stolen car.